Andrew Gilman

To never kick, or get a haircut and master the low-fade golf shot: Resolutions for 2018

To never kick, or get a haircut and master the low-fade golf shot: Resolutions for 2018
We’re three days into the new year, which means our resolutions for 2018 have already been broken.
There’s always 2019, though. Until then, check out these sports resolutions sure to happen:
Oklahoma athletic director Joe Castiglione: Arrange team of lawyers to ready a petition to the NCAA for another year of eligibility for Baker Mayfield.
Wife of Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy: Tell Mike to get a haircut.
Oklahoma City Thunder general manager Sam Presti: To trade Paul George
Oklahoma State football coach Mike Gundy: To not get a haircut until 2020.
Oklahoma football coach Lincoln Riley: To never kick a field goal in overtime again.
Former Oklahoma football coach Bob Stoops: Work on that low-punch, fade shot with the 7-iron
Oklahoma City Thunder guard Russell Westbrook: To be a better friend to Kevin Durant
Oklahoma City Thunder coach Billy Donovan: Buy the Rosetta Stone, “Mastering the art of the double adverb.”

Oklahoma guard Trae Young: To Google “Rookie Year NBA salaries.”

Former Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield: Intense shoulder workouts to create more space for some NFL-sized chips.

Oklahoma State athletic director Mike Holder: Put together a task force to find out if there are any obscure, forgotten or vacated NCAA football titles to claim from the late 1880s.

Golden State forward Kevin Durant: Watch “Snakes on a Plane.” Again.
New York Knick forward Enes Kanter: to become a YouTube sensation and play defense.
Oklahoma defensive coordinator Mike Stoops: Take up golf.
Oklahoma City Thunder forward Paul George: Find a real estate agent in the southern California area.
New England quarterback Tom Brady: To stay positive and keep plugging away, knowing with hard work and a little bit of luck, maybe a break will come.
NFL commissioner Roger Goddell: To finally get some nerve up to ask for a raise.
Oklahoma City forward Carmelo Anthony: Fight the urge to be so isolated. Spend more time with family, friends, or maybe even teammates.
Oklahoma City guard Kyle Singler: Find someone to help take down all the mirrors in the house to make sure not to catch a glimpse of that haircut.
Alabama football coach Nick Saban: Schedule a smile for some time in mid-April.
ESPN commentator Joey Galloway: Go online and order a giant, Baylor Bears, No. 1 foam finger.
Former NFL quarterback Peyton Manning: Hire a more aggressive agent to help branch out and maybe do a few commercials.
Oklahoma basketball coach Lon Kruger: Learn how to be a bit more positive.

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