Andrew Gilman

Don’t look at me or Louisiana-Monroe to make yourself feel better

Don’t look at me or Louisiana-Monroe to make yourself feel better

I probably let you down. That’s fine. I have broad shoulders. I’ll take the burden of the blame.

But if you came here, to this space, on this website for life-coaching or anything more than some basic entertainment, well, that’s on you. Not me.

So, my advice to you moving forward: live and learn, take a step back and realize the loss to Houston is not near the big of a deal as your friends, family and support group is making it out to be.

A month’s worth of wins and Oklahoma will be right back in the national championship picture, but that doesn’t start until next week when Ohio State comes to Norman.

For now, it’s Louisiana-Monroe. You can start worrying about The-OSU next week and you can read on for 25 things that are sure to happen against the War Hawks which will start with the fact 1. Your pre-game routine will consist of the normal food and drink but will include no discussion of ULM, because let’s face it 2. you don’t even know what conference the Hawks are in. 3. You’ll Google it to find out. That’s fine. No one blames you. This game was supposed to be the icing on a great Week 1 and Week 3 cake. 4. But OU lost and instead of ULM, you’ll spend more time talking about how you know this guy who will “probably get you into the new suites” in the south endzone for the Ohio State.

5. You’ll be impressed by the new-look stadium. 6. You’ll also be upset by the many Instagram – Hashtag NoFilter – pics you’ll get to see from that jerk co-worker of yours who somehow weaseled his way in. Whatevs. You never liked him anyway.

Might as well just pay attention to the game despite the fact 7. Samaje Perine won’t play and 8. quarterback Baker Mayfield won’t play in the fourth quarter. 9. You won’t miss either. 10. You’ll wish Mayfield would sit in the second half and wonder why he couldn’t just do a Cam Newton and sit on the bench and floss his teeth. No worries. 11.This game will be over right before kickoff and 12. you’ll ask just exactly how much did ULM make for showing up for this massacre (By the way it’s $1.2 million). But even $1.2 million can’t buy happiness. When you lose to Houston, things don’t seem quite as sunny, especially when the home fans haven’t got to enjoy the season, so this game won’t feel as festive as usual.

But you’ll be able to put a bit of distance between last week’s loss to the Cougars when 13. Mayfield passes for more than 200 yards in the first half and 14. Joe Mixon runs for a pair of touchdowns in the first two quarters. 15. And more than 100 yards before the break.

Last week, the Oklahoma receivers didn’t seem elite. 15. This week they’ll look a lot better. Obviously. 16. And that will manifest itself with seven or more receivers getting a catch. 17. Mark Andrews will score a touchdown. 18. So will Dahu Green. 19. Back-up quarterback Austin Kendall will even throw for a score and after the game 20. coach Bob Stoops will say his team got “better.” Mayfield will be better.The defense will be, too. 21. Count on four-plus turnovers and 22. four-plus sacks.

And start the countdown to Ohio State.

23. OU will lead by 17 or more after one quarter. 24. The Sooners will score more than 50. 25. OU covers the 46.5 points and Sooners roll, 56-3.

Last week: 9-16
Overall: 9-16

Andrew Gilman

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